A Dimension 11 Monthly Publication

January 2006


Male/Female Communication Should Not Equal Confusion

Do you sometimes come away from a conversation with someone of the opposite sex scratching your head and saying, "Huh?" Did it seem like you were speaking different languages? This is an all-too-common experience when men and women talk to each other, at work and at home. Is it our aim to confuse and frustrate each other? Hopefully not. So, why, if we both go into the conversation with good intentions to communicate clearly, does it often feel like we are talking to an alien?

This may come as a surprise, but...men and women are different...yes, it's true! One of the big differences is in communication styles and purposes. In general, men communicate to give information, to talk about things and facts, to get results. In general, women communicate to get information, to talk about people and feelings, to convey details and build relationships. I say "in general" because there are always exceptions...in my house, my husband and I seem to be a perfect mixture of both styles (and he's the chatter box, I'm not) so that just doubles the ways we can misunderstand each other!

Neither the male nor female style is "right" or "better". They both serve valuable purposes. The best things to do are:

  • Be understanding and respectful of each other
  • Learn and accept the differences in communication styles, and adapt to them
  • Understand what the other expects of you in this conversation (just a listening ear, for you to ask questions about what is being said to help figure out a problem, someone to give advice, etc.)...if in doubt, ask
  • Be patient

Remember, we all wish/hope/pray for clear communication, so give it your best shot, apologize when you mess up, accept the apology when someone else messes up, and keep your sense of humour. Oh, and it wouldn't hurt to read more about the differences and what to do about them...any little bit of knowledge will help. Try You Just Don't Understand by Deborah Tannen, Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus by John Gray, PhD, or He Says, She Says by Lillian Glass.

Email Etiquette

Email is the standard way to communicate these days. Let's make it as easy as possible to get our message read by trying some of these tips:

  • Always include a subject, making it short and to the point, so the recipient will know what it's about before reading and will know if it should be read immediately or can be saved for later
  • Set up your email software to display your name or your company name in the recipients' From field . You can do this with the free email accounts, too, as it isn't very professional to see cutie_pie_487@hotmail.com on a business email.
  • Please don't type in all caps...it's hard to read, and looks like you were too lazy to find the Shift key
  • When sending your message to a group, put the addresses in the BCC text box, so everyone isn't seeing all the addresses
  • When forwarding a message, delete everything but the actual message before sending it
  • Keep it short; if the message is going to be really long, use the phone instead


Quotes This Month

"The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said."
~ Peter Drucker ~

"Everything becomes a little different as soon as it is spoken out loud."
~ Hermann Hesse ~

"Say what you mean and mean what you say."
~ George S. Patton ~

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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